Setting Realistic Expectations

I’m not usually a big crier. It usually comes when I’m super frustrated with myself or when I see videos of a military spouse coming home - instant bawling. 

But the last 3 Tuesdays and this past Saturday… tears.

Why these specific dates?

Ellie’s gymnastics. 

She’s been working her booty off to level up on some skills and while she has the talent her self-confidence and unrealistic expectations can get in the way…and, not the apple didn’t fall far from both trees!

“We know you can do it, but that only gets you so far. You have to believe in yourself. We can’t do that for you. You have to speak kindly to yourself, even when you mess up.” 

These words have come from us, her coaches, and other family members (yes, we’re super grateful!).

All the work led up to her first meet-ish in the Show Me State Games this past weekend. Not an official meet for her but a trial to see how she did with her skills. 

Friday night she was nervous. Nervous that there would be a lot more people than normal. Nervous that she may fall.  Nervous that a friend might be better than her. 

We then spent some time talking…

We talked about how it’s okay to be nervous. 

We talked about the only two rules she had…try hard and have fun.

We talked about how there would be more people, but not different than when she had normal evening practices. And a perk meet was in her same gym and that yes

We talked about expectations. Realistic expectations to be exact. Are these ever fun to talk about or actually set? I feel this is where our brain tries to play tricks on us. 

Has she fallen before? Yup. And it might happen again. 
Have there been other girls better than her? Yup. And they might be better again today. 
Has she even been in a meet? Nope. And therefore she may make a mistake. 

Saturday morning we drove to the meet. When we got there I asked if she wanted to do a kids confidence tapping session…she said yes and you could see some nerves fall away. 

We walked in and she ran right out to her team and we settled in upstairs. 

Her first event was bars. She saluted the judge and walked up to the bar. 
She was smiling and me…I started crying. 

Why? Proud of course. But I just wanted her to have the confidence in herself that we did. To walk up to that bar and do exactly what she did in practice. 

She did her pullover, and the rest of her routine, and just like that Boom. Done. The first event was in the books. 

She smiled so big and all the girls gave high fives.

The rest of the meet continued and did she fall on the beam? Yup. Did some other girls do better? Yup. Was she pumped that the first meet was under her belt? Yup!

While this blog is for Ellie, it’s also for two other people. The little girl in me who struggled (ha, still struggles) with confidence and realistic expectations and had so many memories flash back from my days on the floor. 

And also, for you. 

Business ownership isn’t just about knowing your expertise. There’s so much mindset work. You’re up against limiting beliefs that started when you were just a child. You’re up against your mind wanting to keep you safe. You’re up against wanting to trust your gut vs. the logical decisions. 

But as we talked about with Ellie…it’s your job to have fun,  do your best, and set some realistic expectations! 

**And this is one instant in our household and should not portray that things are this calm all other times… definitely not 😅